False. We are not God and forgiving others is one of the hardest things to do. Because we are not God.
Yesterday I spoke in a sunday school class about forgiveness. Even as a I shared my own story I was reminded forgiving others is not about waiting around for the gooey, mushy, marshmallow feeling inside. It is about choosing to forgive the other person even when you don't feel like it. Actually, especially when you don't feel like it. God can easily forgive, that is part of God's nature ("love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs" - 1 Corinthians 13:5). God can forgive the worst of our sins the moment we ask. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9). But we cannot purify anyone (even ourselves) from all unrighteousness.But let's be real here, we are not God. We as humans hold grudges as easily as we hold pencils. We remember the boy in the 5th grade who constantly reached inside our desks and stole our markers, we remember the hurtful name callings, the times we were left at the bus stop, our parent's divorce. We remember the big and small hurts in life and hold so tightly to them.
Forgiveness has to be a choice, because we are not actually strong enough to do it on our own. Look at the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant. In this story a servant, we'll call him Frank, owed a giant debt (one million dollars) to his master. To pay the debt, the Frank's family would be sold. But the servant pleaded for mercy and the master took pity on him, forgave the debt, and let him go. But Frank did not understand his forgiveness. He merely thought that it was an extension of his loan so he then sought out one of his fellow servants, let's call him Steve, who owed him a small debt (one hundred dollars). He demanded his Steve pay him back everything he owed. Steve pleaded for mercy but Frank refused and had Abe tossed in prison until he could repay him. The master is furious at Frank for he had been forgiven much but was unwilling to forgive so little a debt.
God perhaps feels this way. God does not want us to go around harboring bitterness and resentment towards those who have wronged us because God does not treat us this way. God can forgive our sins as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103). We are supposed to be Christ-like then we need to forgive those, whether or not we we feel in the mood to do so. Because, honestly, we are never going to be in the mood to forgive someone. If you are waiting until you have a gooey, mushy, marshmallow feeling of you can now be ok to be around the person who wronged you, you are going to be unforgiving for a long, long time. God wants us to do it the other way. We forgive first and then the gooey, mushy, marshmallow feeling will come afterwards. It may be a while, but eventually the pain will subside.
Forgiveness is not about saying their actions are ok, because they are not. But forgiveness is choosing not to hold it against them any more. Forgiveness is not about being friends with every person ever, that would be stupid. Forgiving others doesn't mean you can't distance yourself from people who are not good to be around (see Donald Miller's blog for more). But forgiveness is not letting yourself be eaten up by the sins of others against you. Because let's face it, being unforgiving is only hurting you, not them. Forgiveness then becomes when you think of the hurt, sin, brokenness, or stolen marker (because let's face it - you will think of it again), you don't bring it up with person again because you have forgiven them. You take it up with God and plead for his mercy again because God can handle it. And God is not about the gooey, mushy, marshmallow feelings - he is about reconciliation and restoration and that is some awesome stuff.
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