I tried to come up with a great post with great reflections about Valentine's Day. Not sure what I wanted - but something profound about the joy of being single without sounding too cheesy or insincere. But I couldn't. I just couldn't come up with anything at the moment. I mean I'm generally ok with being single at the moment. I enjoy taking more risks and learning who I am in this stage. I enjoy that I have a unique voice as an "older" single woman (I use older really hesitantly - but being unmarried and not in a relationships over the age of 25 in the church can often feel like older). I enjoy being single most of the time.
But there are times when I don't enjoy it. When I see new relationships arise, when I see my friends get engaged, when my friends plan weddings, have babies, buy homes, and get to share their life with someone else and honestly I get jealous. Can I say that? Yes - I do - I get jealous.
It can feel lonely and frustrating being single still. And it doesn't just hit me on "Singleness Awareness Day." Because, honestly, I'm aware everyday that I'm single - I don't need an invented holiday to tell me that. Some days I'm so content with my singleness. Some days I'm not. But there is a truth that surpass my feelings and emotions: that Jesus loves me and cares for me. I can be confident in that truth because it won't change when I'm single or married. He will always see my cries, pain, tears, and frustrations. He will always see my joys, strength, and confidence. And it's this truth that gets me through the not so great days. Because feelings and circumstances change. Jesus does not.
And that's pretty awesome.
But I actually had a really great Valentine's Day itself because I spent it with good friends, laughed a lot, and got some free stuff! So here are some pics of the pretty epic Friday.
Valentine's Day cards from Mom. Doubles as a bookmark. How cool is that?
Jenel is the vampire squirrel?
We waited about 10-15 min for ice cream. We played with plush toys while we waited so it felt like no time at all.
Spiderman was on a car!
We painted while watching the Olympics. Mine is the bottom left.
Seven years ago I rededicated my life to Christ. It was a moment where I needed to make my faith real, I needed to jump out of the boat, I needed to do something to stop living in a watered-down faith. And God has brought me a long way since then. I've been challenged, I've been pressed, I've been encouraged, I've been all over the place and God has been faithful.
Two years ago I became an intern with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at CSUN and that was totally unexpected. It wasn't a part of my plan but God brought me into a season of deep healing and deeper relationship. My faith was very much transformed by this process.
Now it's time for a new chapter. I just accepted a full time staff position with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship to work at a staff at CSUN and Pierce (interestingly enough interviewing at the same church I made decision I faith). God has brought me a long way in the past seven years and I'm excited to see where God continues to bring me.
When I first stepped onto CSUN's campus to consider coming on staff I commented that it felt like home. It was the same feeling I got when I stepped onto Cal Poly SLO's campus to consider coming as a student. I couldn't explain it but it just felt like the place I needed to be. And now I am excited to make that place and the schools around it, my home for the next several years.