InterVarsity CSUN (30 Days of Gratitude)

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 23

This is my fourth year on staff with InterVarsity CSUN. After four years of working with college students I can say I really do love my job. There are many days when things are really hard but there are many more days when things are great. And this year there is something uniquely great about the students and student leaders. We've always described InterVarsity CSUN as a family and I think this group of students really embodies this.

We gathered together to give thanks, to eat together, and to be in community with each other. Normally with any potluck or gathering event we prefer to have some planned activities but this year it just slipped us by. But as I looked around throughout the night ever person was engaged in conversation - meeting new people, laughing, telling stories, sharing their lives, and even having arm wrestling contests (yes that did happen).

I'm impressed and amazed by these students - their desire to see more of Jesus in their lives, their hope to see real change on campus, their longing for justice in the world, their hopefulness, their growing desire to commit, and their hospitality to welcome anyone into our family. They make every part of my job totally worth it and I love being a part of the family with you all.

Valentine's Day

I tried to come up with a great post with great reflections about Valentine's Day. Not sure what I wanted - but something profound about the joy of being single without sounding too cheesy or insincere. But I couldn't. I just couldn't come up with anything at the moment. I mean I'm generally ok with being single at the moment. I enjoy taking more risks and learning who I am in this stage. I enjoy that I have a unique voice as an "older" single woman (I use older really hesitantly - but being unmarried and not in a relationships over the age of 25 in the church can often feel like older). I enjoy being single most of the time.

But there are times when I don't enjoy it. When I see new relationships arise, when I see my friends get engaged, when my friends plan weddings, have babies, buy homes, and get to share their life with someone else and honestly I get jealous. Can I say that? Yes - I do - I get jealous.

It can feel lonely and frustrating being single still. And it doesn't just hit me on "Singleness Awareness Day." Because, honestly, I'm aware everyday that I'm single - I don't need an invented holiday to tell me that. Some days I'm so content with my singleness. Some days I'm not. But there is a truth that surpass my feelings and emotions: that Jesus loves me and cares for me. I can be confident in that truth because it won't change when I'm single or married. He will always see my cries, pain, tears, and frustrations. He will always see my joys, strength, and confidence. And it's this truth that gets me through the not so great days. Because feelings and circumstances change. Jesus does not.

And that's pretty awesome.

But I actually had a really great Valentine's Day itself because I spent it with good friends, laughed a lot, and got some free stuff! So here are some pics of the pretty epic Friday.

Valentine's Day cards from Mom. Doubles as a bookmark. How cool is that? 

Jenel is the vampire squirrel? 

We waited about 10-15 min for ice cream. We played with plush toys while we waited so it felt like no time at all. 

Spiderman was on a car!

We painted while watching the Olympics. Mine is the bottom left.

Little Drummer Boy

I love Christmas music. I always have. Growing up Christmas was my favorite holiday for three reasons.

1. My mother LOVES the season. She is get super festive and our house turns into a winter wonderland. So even not being a child anymore, Christmas decorations still makes me feel more at home. 
2. It always comes around my birthday, so there was just a lot to celebrate. 
3. The lights and the music. Christmas music just seems so much better than most. 

But I am very selective about the music that I like during this season. I like Advent music, music that really expresses the amazing fact that Jesus came down to earth on during this season and that is something worth celebration, that our Savior, has come. Little Drummer Boy was never one of the songs that made it onto my powerful, emotional, Advent songs list. 

That is until now. One of my favorite bands, Pentatonix, did a version of it that changed my view on the song entirely. Listen to it here first: 

I can't quite put to words what made me love this version so much more than the rest of it, but I think it was the right musical composition to make me actually understand the meaning of the song. A small boy, knowing he has nothing to give Jesus but his drum playing, plays at the feet of Jesus. And Jesus accepts this child's gift, because he gave all he had, he gave willingly, and he gave freely.

Isn't that all Jesus wants from us - to give him what we have, whether much or little. Many times we withhold our best gifts from Jesus because we fear they aren't good enough as the person standing next to us. Let them lead, let them serve, let them play because they are ultimately the better one. We have become so entrenched in a world of comparison and jealousy that we withhold the best parts ourselves from Jesus.

Jesus doesn't care if you are the best drummer or the worst drummer, he wants you to give yourself, your talents, your gifts to him and let him use them as he will. I like this song because this young kid gets it - he doesn't have much to give so he gives what he has, and he gives it all. If he had been given wealth beyond belief he would have given that and if he could bake he would have made Jesus pie (which would be awesome). But he couldn't do those things, so he played his drum.

May we all find our drum to play for Jesus and play it like we would for a king.

Green Christmas

It's finally getting cold in Southern California (well cold to us is about 50 degrees, which is warm to so many others during this time of year). But for us, it does start to feel more like Christmas time. In honor of the season (and to mark off one of my 25 goals) I've composed a song to the tune of White Christmas...

"I'm dreaming of a White Christmas
Just like the ones I never knew.
With the palm trees swaying,
And Children Playing
On the beach, swim the ocean blue.

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas
Not really sure we'd ever get that here.
With the temperatures climbing
And the heat still rising
I think snow, would cast too much fear."

Happy Holidays!