Hope (30 Days of Gratitude)

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 15

I admit, today is hard to feel grateful. It's hard to feel any sense of hope when it feels like every week there is a new tragedy unfolding in our world. When shootings and bombings and killings tear at our world, it feels like there is no hope. The hopelessness rages on, the hurt digs deep, and sometimes I feel paralyzed with fear or depression because our world is tearing each other apart.

Suicide bombings in Beirut. Earthquakes in Japan. Terrorist bombings in Pairs. Hurricanes in Mexico. Suicide bombings in Baghdad. Racial threats in Mizzou.

Since the Fall of Man, our world is falling apart. We kill our brothers and sisters, we attack our neighbors, our tongues and hearts are fill with hatred, our world is hurting and people are dying. Death hurts so much for those still living and to see people being killed for senseless reasons - it's hard to watch and it's hard to have hope. It's hard to see the hope.

When Jesus came to dwell among us over 2,000 years ago, the world was also walking in great darkness. Isaiah the prophet recognized that this was coming and spoke these words to the people of Israel:

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this."

Jesus we need you now just as much then. We need your light to shine in the darkness, a light so powerful that it cannot be overcome. We need you to bring comfort to those who are mourning. We need you to bring peace into a world of chaos. We need you to bring justice into a world where injustice ravages. We need you to bring mercy when we seek revenge. We need your hope when we feel hopeless and overwhelmed. We need your power and your compassion to flow through us, your people, and flow through this world. Jesus we need your light in this pervading darkness.

Intercession and Prayer

A week ago, my friend Michael, posted on Facebook that he wanted to do intercessory prayer. He asked his Facebook friends to send him messages of their prayer requests. When I see things like, I usually take people up on their offers because - well why not. But I usually don't expect much from them. But I still sent Michael a request asking to pray for my leaders to grow in their understanding of leadership and incarnational ministry.

I had forgotten that I had shared this with him when I get a message from him later in the evening.

What was crazy is that Michael had no idea that two years ago, when we sat down to make some long term goals for our fellowship we had come up with the number of students leaders we wanted to see over the next five years. We wanted to see 30 students rise up as a leaders on campus by 2017.

(that's been posted in my apartment for the past 2 years)

I stared at his message in disbelief, knowing I had not told him that story or had told him about those goals. In fact they've been placed up in my apartment for so long that I almost forgot about them. It wasn't until I received Michael's message that I remembered we wanted to see 30 student leaders reaching CSUN and being witnesses in their communities on campus.

I was challenged by Michael to be obedient to God's calling to intercede for my friends and for the campus. I had been avoiding taking this call seriously but last week I decided it was time to set aside time to prayer in intercession. It's more than getting a cool story but it's about being obedient to the Lord and praying consistently. I'm reminded of Nehemiah and when heard about the description of Israel this was his response,

"When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven." 

Nehemiah's story reminds me that prayer is not a one time thing but a process, a pattern, a discipline. I'm learning to be more disciplined.

Prayers (30 Days of Gratitude)

I am simply thankful for prayer today. After a long, stressful, and tiring week, I was approaching burn out but an entire conference lay before me. It was not one to simply complete, but to remain present and active for. I simply did not feel I had the energy to finish it out well.

But I am thankful for the people in my new InterVarsity family being willing to listen. I turned to Enrique, one of our older staff, and just expressed I didn't want to be here. He looked at me and simply offered to pray for me and for the day. I know the reason I made it through the day without crying or checking out or falling asleep is Enrique's morning prayer.

Thank you.

A Prayer

Jesus, help to stay engaged when I am tired and frustrated. Help understand what you are doing here because right now it's confusing and a bit painful. Give me your eyes to see where you are moving, fill me with your heart that I may have more compassion. Above all help me to trust you as the author and protector of my faith, as my provider and stronghold. I can look to you for where my help comes from.

Psalms

My bible study is going through 1 Samuel and the psalms in order to see how David prayed his way through life. We wrote psalms during study...

Lord, I am tired, exhausted. 

I feel as if my body is made of stone. 

It becomes heavier to move each day. 

There is never enough sleep to get, 

Too much to still do, and never 

Enough time in the day. 

Never enough money in the bank. 

There just never seems to be

Enough. 

It's like my brain is being pulled in

Different directions, stretched too thin. 

I want to sing that all I need is you 

But my body seems to disagree. 

My body and mind are odds with my soul. 

How can these things co-exist and fight 

At the same time. So much trying to rule my life. 

I feel like I've been running for days straight. 

Why must it be so difficult? 

Why does it seem as if there's still not enough. 

Why? Why? Why? 

And I have to hold it all together because that is what everyone else is telling 

Me to do. Keep it together. Be an adult. 

But I really feel as if everything is falling apart. Slowly unraveling. 

Pull the string and the whole sweater comes apart. 

But I know, Lord, that you are enough. 

That you are greater than the things I lack. 

You are the provider and my strength. 

Lord help me to see this, even when sleep and stress 

Cloud my eyes. 

So I lift my eyes up to the hills. 

Know where my help comes from. 

My help, comes from you, my God. 

Maker of heaven and earth. 

When my soul is downcast, I will put my 

Hope in You. 

My savior and my God.