New Blog

I've decided to move over to wordpress and sort of start a new blog.

You can find my new stuff here: https://montepilgrimage.wordpress.com

I'll most likely copy all my old posts over there so if you are the kind of person who reads old things you don't have to go to two places. But I won't be posting any new things here. I of course love your readership (all like 5 of you) and would love to still have you on the journey with me in the new blog!

All the Books (of 2016)

Each year I decide to read a certain number of books throughout the year. Everything from theology to fiction to children's books to books of the bible to graphic novels. I did this in 2014 reading a total of 32 books and 7,982 pages. Then again in 2015 where I read 52 books and a total of 6,816 pages (lots of books of the bible are less than 30 pages each).

So here I am again to share with you the new (and some old) books I am reading this year. Click the link to head to the goodreads profile where I've rated (and sometimes reviewed) them. Onto the reading adventure!

Total Pages: 619 pages

1. The Middle of Somewhere by Sonja Yoerg (336 pages)
2. Persepolis 2: The Story of a Return by Marjane Satrapi (187 pages) 
3. Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Disney by Diane Muldrow (96 pages) 

Sam the Wise

I am working on Urbana reflections. Like any conference there is much to process. But since Urbana tends to be full of more than I expect and physically exhausting it is usually difficult to process anything in a timely manner. And then writing about seemed doubly hard.

So I watched Lord of the Rings instead. I was reminded of how much I love the character Sam. Sam reminds me of my best friend Sol. They are always there for those who need them, no matter the cost. Even as Sam watches what the ring is doing to Frodo, even as Frodo turns from Sam, even as others don't believe in him, he stays by Frodo's side until the very end.

It's because he believes in something worth holding onto.

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

2015 had a lot of rough moments for me and for our world. There were a lot of times when we just couldn't see the good in the world. But Sam here reminds me that there is a reason to not give and keep going - that there is good in the world worth fighting for.

I hope that in 2016 it is marked by a year of holding onto the good - holding onto the goodness of Jesus and fighting for it. There are many places in our world who don't see it or feel void of it. It's not a call to avoid those places but to go into them and bring hope and God's goodness into them. It's difficult and as Sam says there are a lot of chances to turn back but we don't because we hold onto that God is good throughout it all.

May the Course Be With You

Ran my second Run Disney race today. Once again I was privileged to run with Team AFSP (American Foundation from Suicide Prevention). It was Star Wars which I loved! It's my favorite movie franchise (I have seen The Force Awakens five times in theaters). I even dressed up as a X-Wing Fighter pilot for the race. It was just fun to see everyone dressed up and the Star Wars music playing throughout the park.

So glad I decided to do a 10k instead of the Half-Marathon (6.2 miles compared to 13.1 - oh yeah much better decision). Running is great and I love it but I'm not sure how much I love it to do a second half marathon. I think I'm done with "marathons" unless they are preceded by the word "Netflix."

But here are some photos of the race:

At the Health and Fitness Expo - playing with lightsabers.

Team AFSP 10k runners

Watched the sunrise since we were up so early for the race. 

Running through the park and saw some storm troopers.

My cheer squad.

My awesome medal.

Books! Books! Books! (of 2015)

When I turned 26 I started working on a 30 Before 30 List. And of course being a former lit major reading books was a high priority. So my goal was to read 30,000 pages before I turned 30. I read a total of 7,982 pages in 2014 which ended up being a total of 32 books. This year I've added reading the whole bible to my list. Should I get it done, it will add 66 books to my list (instead of just one).

So here is the list of books I've read in 2015. Here's to a great year of new reading, new stories, and characters. It's quite an adventure.

Total page count: 6,816 pages

1. The Maze Runner by James Dashner (374 pages) 
2. You Have to F***ing Eat by Mansbach (32 pages) 
3. Allegiant by Veronica Roth (526 pages) 
4. Genesis of the Bible (54 pages)
5. Tell Me by Joan Bauer (272 pages)
6. Exodus of the Bible (43 pages)
7. Leviticus of the Bible (30 pages)
8. Numbers of the Bible (43 page) 
9. Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein (176 pages) 
10. The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells (192 pages) 
11. Deuteronomy of the Bible (37 pages) 
12. When God Lets You Down: Trusting Again After Pain and Loss by Alex Gee (128 pages)
13. Joshua of the Bible (25 pages) 
14. Judges of the Bible (25 pages) 
15. Ruth of the Bible (4 pages) 
16. The Help by Kathryn Stockett (451 pages) 
17. I Samuel of the Bible (33 pages) 
18. II Samuel of the Bible (30 pages)
19. I Kings of the Bible (33 pages)
20. II Kings of the Bible (32 pages)
21. Deepening the Soul for Justice by Bethany H. Hoang (48 pages) 
22. The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros (110 pages) 
23. Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell (296 pages)
24. I Chronicles of the bible (36 pages) 
25. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern (387 pages) 
26. Like My Father Always Said by Erin McHugh (144 pages) 
27. Unicorn Being a Jerk by C.W. Moss (120 pages) 
28. II Chronicles of the Bible (37 pages) 
29. Ezra of the Bible (13 pages) 
30. Nehemiah of the Bible (15 pages) 
31. Esther of the Bible (8 pages) 
32. The Flute Player by Michael Lacapa (48 pages) 
33. The Magician's Assistant by Ann Patchett (357 pages) 
34. The Scorch Trials by James Dashner (361 pages)
35. Job of the Bible (36 pages)
36. Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee (278 pages) 
37. Darth Vader #1 (Comic Series) by Kieron Gillen (48 pages) 
38. Darth Vader #2 (Comic Series) by Kieron Gillen (23 pages) 
39. The Bullet by Mary Louise Kelly (368 pages) 
40. Darth Vader #3 (Comic Series) by Kieron Gillen (21 pages)
41. Darth Vader #4 (Comic Series) by Kieron Gillen (21 pages) 
42. War Dances by Sherman Alexie (209 pages) 
43. The Martian by Andy Weir (369 pages)
44. Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace by Anne Lamott (286 pages)
45. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein (64 pages)
46. The Death Cure by James Dasher (325 pages)
47. Quidditch Through the Ages by Kenilworthy Whisp (64 pages)
48. The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle (26 pages) 
49. Psalms of the Bible (95 pages) 
50. Darth Vader #5 by Kieron Gillen (21 pages) 
51. Darth Vader #6 by Kieron Gillen (21 pages) 
52. Darth Vader #7 by Kieron Gillen (21 pages) 

Advent Week 4

Advent Week 4

Love (Day 20) 

For Christ loved us too much to leave us in darkness. 

Wonder (Day 21)

I often wonder what the Lord is doing in my life. But how often do I look at him with wonder and awe?

Community (Day 22) 

There have been many influential communities in my life and these represent a few of the many.

Gift (Day 23) 

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! - Matthew‬ ‭7:11

Birth (Day 24)

We wait. We wait for the birth of a savior. Of Immanuel. Of light. We wait for the birth of something new.

Light (Day 25) 

In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. -John‬ ‭1:4-5‬ ‭

Advent Week 3

Advent Week 3

Joy (Day 13) 

I have loved this season ever since I was a child. Christmas is magic to me. It fills me with a deep sense of joy. The lights. The decorations. The cookies.

Ponder (Day 14) 

Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them. - Psalm‬ ‭111:2

Sign (Day 15) 

This sign took us to some amazing adventures in Yosemite.

Praise (Day 16) 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Release (Day 17) 

Yes I did an advent day about Star Wars because it is the release of the Force Awakens and Jesus does care about our loves and passions.

Promise (Day 18) 

He remembers his covenant forever, the promise he made, for a thousand generations - Psalm‬ ‭105:8‬

Faith (Day 19)

He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" - Mark‬ ‭4:40‬ 

Birthday

Today is my birthday. I typically love birthdays. I'm the one who usually thinks about my birthday a full month in advance. I love having parties but as a December birthday, parties are quite difficult to come by. Well it's that there are just too many parties happening that trying to fit a birthday celebration in the midst of them is never easy. I have had some great celebrations, I loved having friends over last year to eat pizza and watch Fast and the Furious, or when my students took ice skating, or when my college roommate planned me a surprise 21st birthday party.

But this year I wasn't ready to celebrate. I wasn't afraid of turning 28. I've actually been kind of excited to be in my late 20's. I just wasn't in the celebratory mood. A small part of me wanted to skip over my birthday because the last several months have been hard. There were things from this year that I just didn't want to celebrate. But in the midst of the hard things, there were many things worth celebrating - things that have brought me great joy. So on my birthday, as I turn 28 years old, here are 28 different things in which I am grateful for:

1. New friendships. 
2. Friends who sacrificed their time, their energy, and their sleep to be with me.
3. Travel and adventures. 
4. Encouraging text messages and phones calls 
5. Beds that are comfortable and safe 
6. Family and friends that might as well be family
7. Therapy 
8. Students who take risks and are open to Jesus transforming them 
9. Being outside! Hiking and long walks, going to the mountains and the beach 
10. Books and books and more books 
11. Beer 
12. Star Wars! 
13. Sharpie pens and journals 
14. Words that greet you like a friend
15. Donuts 
16. Mentors and supervisors who lead and develop me 
17. Easting, laughing, talking, and staying way too long at restaurants 
18. Running 
19. Thoughtful gifts and gestures 
20. Music 
21. Boba
22. Friends who let you rant, yell, cry, laugh, and sit in silence 
23. Travel and adventures 
24. Cameras for capturing beautiful scenes 
25. Scripture 
26. Watching movies with friends 
27. Hope for the future 
28. Another year of life

Advent Week 2

Advent Week 2

Peace (Day 6)

“Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.” Isaiah‬ ‭9:7‬

Listen (Day 7)

Stop to rest and listen to the Holy Spirt. Be still and hear the voice of the Lord.

Free (Day 8) 

The place in the world I feel the most free is here in Yosemite. To be at full peace and full freedom sitting in this meadow watching the sun set.

Justice (Day 9) 

But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream! - Amos‬ ‭5:24

Awake (Day 10) 

Awake my soul. Rise up and see the son being born

Mystery (Day 11) 

My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. - Colossians‬ ‭2:2-3‬ ‭

Grace (Day 12) 

I wish grace and healing were more abracadabra kind of things. Also, that delicate silver bells would ring to announce grace's arrival. But no, it's clog and slog and scootch, on the floor, in the silence, in the dark. - Anne Lamott

Advent: Week 1

Wait (Day 1)

Lord we wait for you. We wait for you to come and bring light to a dark world. We wait with expectation. Hopeful expectation.

Journey (Day 2)

"Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.” Ruth‬ ‭1:16‬. We journey together to seek the Lord in advent. He journeyed from heaven to us and we goes with us.

Open (Day 3) 

"Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise.” Psalm‬ ‭51:15

Comfort (Day 4)

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew‬ ‭5:4‬

Wisdom (Day 5)

We hiked to a wisdom tree once. I wonder if it made us wiser.

Advent

Advent started in darkness. The world was in darkness. Joseph finds out his wife his pregnant though he never had sex with her. King Herod murders thousands of baby boys searching for the messiah. Joseph, Mary, and Jesus flee to Egypt as refugees. They hide for two years trying to escape slaughter.

Advent season promises light. A savior is born in an unlikely way in a unlikely place. Hope is born into a dark world. Advent shows us that light can shine through the darkness. Advent directs us back to the light. Advent breaks through the darkness.

So we prepare. We hope. Our world today is a lot of darkness. Terror and fear running rampant. People being persecuted, tortured, and murdered for their faith or their ethnicity or culture. People living in terror and believing the worst about their neighbors. Mass shooting after mass shooting. Injustice and darkness feels like it reigns in our country and in our world.

But we hope. We hope and look to the light to be stronger than the darkness. We prepare our eyes and our hearts to see the light. We cry out to Jesus to see the light breaking through.

From the prophet Isaiah:

"Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress. In the past he humbled the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the future he will honor Galilee of the nations, by the Way of the Sea, beyond the Jordan—

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.

You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy; they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest, as warriors rejoice when dividing the plunder.

For as in the day of Midian’s defeat, you have shattered the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor.

Every warrior’s boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this."

Home (30 Days of Gratitude)

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 30 

I'm grateful for the homes I have.

Pasadena.

San Luis Obispo.

Fresno.

Northridge.

Yosemite.

I'm grateful for the places and spaces that feel like home to me. The people who I can be myself with. The towns, streets, houses, rivers, and mountains that feel like my own. That feel like they have always been mine. I'm grateful for the people I've been able to share them with, for a moment for a long time.

For the roads I've traveled to be in the places that I love and cherish. The cars that have gotten me there and the music I've listened to along the way. I'm never very far from home then.

Unexpected (30 Days of Gratitude)

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 29 

Today is the first day of Advent. Advent is a season of hope, of waiting, of leaning into Jesus as he draws us to the unexpected places. At church today the pastor asked us: "How open are we to the unexpected messages God sends to us?"

Unexpected. The Kingdom of God is unexpected.

I was reminded of some powerful words from my college Bridget. "You may be like me, and nothing in life is what you expect it to be right now. What I've found though, is that the Kingdom of God is exactly like that! Unexpected. Hidden. Unseen. And all the while, God is in control and he is still good. I lose sight of that when I feel like life isn't what I want it to be. I get all bratty and entitled."

The advent seasons invites us to go to those unexpected places, to receive unexpected messages, and to dwell in the hidden and unseen mystery of God. It was not expected that Zachariah would have a child so late in life, it was not expected that the savior of the world would be born in a manger, it was not expected that Jesus' ministry would be about bringing peace and hope to the chaos and the hopeless.

But it's really hard to feel grateful when life isn't what we expect it to be. More often I  feel resentful. Resentful that I had a plan, and what felt like a perfectly good one, that no longer has any use. I feel bitter because I had hoped for something and now it's not happening. I feel frustrated because I had worked hard for something and it seems to have failed. I'm disappointed because what should have come to be, is fading away. But if we turn to our bitterness and resentment then we miss what Jesus is doing. If we turn toward the light - even in places we would not expect - then we can see the Kingdom of God at hand. 

Small Business Saturday (30 Days of Gratitude)

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 28

One of my favorite traditions of the crazy holiday season is Small Business Saturday. It's a great time to invest in local business and communities and to hear first hand the dreams of business owners. For many of them this is their dream becoming a reality and it's great to partake in their dreams alongside them, even when I'm not local to a place.

And we even made it into the Fresno Bee! You can check out the article here.

So thank you to all the the local business who dream big and invite us to share in that with you. For your commitment to your community and to your customers, and for hope you inspire in us to also dream big.

Here are the places Sol and I visited during the day:

1) Raizana Tea

2) Misc.

3) Dear Danger

4) HIVE Clovis

5) On the Edge

6) Pho 75 # 2

7) Goldsteins Mortuary & Delicatessen 

#OptOutside (30 Days of Gratitude)

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 27

Instead of going shopping for Black Friday, we got to spend the day outside for REI's new thing called #OptOutside. Even though we were a little too tired to go hiking, Sol and I spent the day being outside - both reading in the Park, walking through Downtown Kingsburg (for their Julgransfest and Christmas Tree lighting). It was a great joy to spend the day not engaging in consumerism and being outside in the fresh (albeit exceptionally cold) air.

(November in Fresno)

(resting while at Oso de Oro Park)

(enjoying the Christmas tree lighting in Kingsburg. Included a Swedish Queen, Christmas carols, and dancing around the tree).

Happy Thanksgiving! (30 Days of Gratitude)

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 26

Happy Thanksgiving! Here are some things I am thankful for on this day:

• Being able to wake up early (even though it's not my favorite)
• Awesome mugs 
• Running on a beautiful day
• Being outside 
• New socks! 
• Warm jackets 
• Delicious and plentiful food 
• Time with the best friend 
• Pie
• Dr. Pepper 
• Hilarious conversations and inside jokes 
• Watching movies 
• Star Wars! 
• Hot water 
• Being able to sit down 
• Texts from friends 
• Sleeping