I have always had a strong "one-on-one" or "pocket God" relationship with The Lord. I was always selfish with MY God and the things that He could do for me. I was oblivious to the fact that by sustaining my relationship in the state it was in that it wasn't really a relationship at all.
A turning point for me was at Fall Con 2015. Before the trip I was feeling a little lost spiritually and was anxious to see what the weekend had in store. I went to Fall Con the year before and said that after my amazing weekend that my life would change permanently. We all know a camp high when we see one and that is exactly what this was. Within a week I was back to my selfish ways once again.
I was not forcing change in my life at Fall Con 2015 but man did it happen! All weekend I felt like Kristina was speaking directly to me. Everything she said resonated with me greatly. It was going so well for me so far, but it was not until the last night of worship and prayer that my faith took off.
Everyone around me was so FULL of the Lord. People were accepting Jesus into their lives for the first time. People that I didn't even know were praying over me. It was then that I realized how selfish I was. I was so focused on what God could do for me instead of what He could have me do for others. This realization really tore me apart and tears began to fall. I closed my eyes and just asked God, "What do you want from me?"
I have never really been one to believe that God could speak directly to someone until that moment. God and I were standing on the rocky beach of Catalina and He picked up a rock. He handed me the rock and said, "Look at this rock. These are all of your flaws and imperfections that I know that you struggle with. Now throw the rock." I did what He had asked and I threw the rock. He then said to me, "Now go find your rock." I looked out over the shore and there were thousands of other rocks that looked just like mine and there was no way of finding mine. God said, "All of these other rocks are the rest of the world. The same insecurities that you have are within a lot of others."
As I sat in tears listening to what He was saying I realized that God was speaking directly to me and I immediately jumped out of my seat, lifted my hands to the sky, and began to praise the wonderful name of God with all of my imperfect brothers and sisters of Christ.
My vision or meeting with God left me with a little interpretation of what should be done with what was shown to me. That night before I went to sleep I laid in bed and thought if there was more to what God was telling me than just "I love you for you." It dawned on me that God was sending me on a mission. By sending me out to find my rock I would be bound to pick up other rocks that looked similar to mine. Instead of realizing that they aren't my rock and just throwing them aside, He wants me to gather them and show them the love that He showed me. God wants me to go out and find the people that struggle with insecurities and self identity and let them know that He loves us and that His Son died on the cross for us.
God was trying to get me to see that eventually I will find my rock but He has other plans for me first before I find it.
A turning point for me was at Fall Con 2015. Before the trip I was feeling a little lost spiritually and was anxious to see what the weekend had in store. I went to Fall Con the year before and said that after my amazing weekend that my life would change permanently. We all know a camp high when we see one and that is exactly what this was. Within a week I was back to my selfish ways once again.
I was not forcing change in my life at Fall Con 2015 but man did it happen! All weekend I felt like Kristina was speaking directly to me. Everything she said resonated with me greatly. It was going so well for me so far, but it was not until the last night of worship and prayer that my faith took off.
Everyone around me was so FULL of the Lord. People were accepting Jesus into their lives for the first time. People that I didn't even know were praying over me. It was then that I realized how selfish I was. I was so focused on what God could do for me instead of what He could have me do for others. This realization really tore me apart and tears began to fall. I closed my eyes and just asked God, "What do you want from me?"
I have never really been one to believe that God could speak directly to someone until that moment. God and I were standing on the rocky beach of Catalina and He picked up a rock. He handed me the rock and said, "Look at this rock. These are all of your flaws and imperfections that I know that you struggle with. Now throw the rock." I did what He had asked and I threw the rock. He then said to me, "Now go find your rock." I looked out over the shore and there were thousands of other rocks that looked just like mine and there was no way of finding mine. God said, "All of these other rocks are the rest of the world. The same insecurities that you have are within a lot of others."
As I sat in tears listening to what He was saying I realized that God was speaking directly to me and I immediately jumped out of my seat, lifted my hands to the sky, and began to praise the wonderful name of God with all of my imperfect brothers and sisters of Christ.
My vision or meeting with God left me with a little interpretation of what should be done with what was shown to me. That night before I went to sleep I laid in bed and thought if there was more to what God was telling me than just "I love you for you." It dawned on me that God was sending me on a mission. By sending me out to find my rock I would be bound to pick up other rocks that looked similar to mine. Instead of realizing that they aren't my rock and just throwing them aside, He wants me to gather them and show them the love that He showed me. God wants me to go out and find the people that struggle with insecurities and self identity and let them know that He loves us and that His Son died on the cross for us.
God was trying to get me to see that eventually I will find my rock but He has other plans for me first before I find it.
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