I don't like to admit that I am perfectionist. My "J" type personality comes out in moments of chaos when I freak out that things are not going my way (see Myers-Briggs for what a "J" is).
But it is becoming more and more apparent that I am not perfect, nor anywhere near there. When I graduated from college I was coming off a high of InterVarsity leadership. I knew what I was doing (for the most part) and I knew that I was going at being in a leader in IVSLO's context. I just expected the same to happen everywhere else.
I had forgotten what it was like my first day of college where I was lying in my dorm room alone, freaking out that I wasn't going to be good enough. Things turned out fine in the end, but it took several years to get there. I'm not sure I have the patience to wait that long until life, work, and teaching seems to become easier to handle. I should probably work on that.
I think this imperfection is what Paul was talking about when he wrote about His power made perfect in our weakness, sans the whole thorn in the flesh thing. You should check out Henri Nouwen, "The Road to Daybreak." Helped me through FUI, though I didn't really understand most of it.
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