Student Teaching Reflections: Week One

I just finished my first week at Santa Maria High School where I teach freshman and sophomores and believe me when I say, it feels more like a month has gone by than just a week.

Here is the conclusion that I have come to: teaching is one of the hardest professions that exist. I have now become responsible for at least forty 14-16 year olds in a short time (and when I become a full time teacher it will be more like 120 students). And I'm not even that mature myself but now I must muster every mature and responsible bone in my body to lead these students. What I'm finding the hardest to do is to keep composure in the classroom when my life outside the classroom seems to be a mess. For example, this whole week I've been getting a lot less sleep because of waking up so early and driving and work and Cal Poly classes - it just adds up to a lot of brain space and little restful sleep. Usually when I don't get a lot of sleep I become grumpy and frustrated but the moment I set foot on the high school grounds, I have to put all that aside for a few hours a day. These students look to me, as their teacher, to be a source of stability and consistency that they may or may not have home. I have to be dependable and on point every day because as a teenager, their own lives are crazy enough as it is.

What I've learned in InterVarsity is completely the opposite. I've always been told to be vulnerable and be open and honest with my struggles. It has been very difficult to watch these mind sets come clashing up against one another. Because high school is not InterVarsity and my students are not the audience for my own personal problems. I can be the audience for theirs, but they need not gain extra burdens in their life. It is a balance that I am learning to navigate and will still have to learn years past student teaching. This is where I take a deep breath and I'm thankful for three day weekends to catch up on sleep.